“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”
Henry James
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Maria Robinson
Being kind to yourself in everyday life is, in my experience, one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Life can feel lighter and your relationships may improve. Overall, you might feel happier. Your self-esteem and sense of deserving good things in life could increase. This topic is one of my favorites, and I have created my most popular program around it, The Self-Esteem Course.
However, it is also something that is often overlooked or may make some feel guilty.
To bring about a positive change, simply start a new habit today. Cultivate kindness and love towards yourself. Here are 10 of my favorite habits for self-care.
1. Invest in yourself.
Spend 15-30 minutes in the morning or evening reading, listening to, or watching material that uplifts you, helps you understand yourself and the world, or aids you in living a better life.
Afterward, if possible, take one small action based on what you have learned.
2. Find the truth and exception when facing inner or outer criticism.
Your inner critic may not always be kind, and people around you may try to bring you down. When this happens, ask yourself:
What is the exception to this criticism?
This approach is effective in changing your thought patterns, finding the truth, and avoiding self-deprecation.
For instance, if someone says you are not excelling in school, you can challenge that by finding aspects where you are doing well in other subjects and acknowledging areas where improvement is needed.
3. Unwind before bed.
Take a long bath, read something to relax, exercise, or talk to someone about what’s on your mind to release stress. Dedicate at least 30 minutes to be kind to your body and mind by letting go of tensions.
4. Appreciate yourself for just 2 minutes a day.
Create a kinder self-image by developing a quick daily habit of appreciating yourself. Here’s how:
Sit down with a journal, on your phone, computer, or paper, and ask:
What are 3 things I can appreciate about myself today?
It could be your attentive listening skills, progress in your hobbies, or your compassion for animals, people, or music.
Remember to appreciate yourself for small things, not just major milestones.
5. Turn a mediocre day around with one positive step.
If your day feels lackluster, take a small step towards something positive to inject hope and optimism into your day and week.
- Plan a trip.
- Arrange to meet a friend for dinner or coffee.
- Explore career growth opportunities.
- Try a new hobby.
6. Practice kindness towards others.
How you treat others reflects how you treat yourself. By being kind to others, you can cultivate kindness and understanding towards yourself over time.
For example:
- Let someone merge into your lane while driving.
- Support a friend or family member when they feel uncertain or unmotivated.
- Listen without judgment as someone shares their thoughts.
7. Be your own best friend in times of failure.
Avoid self-criticism, as it can harm your self-esteem. Instead, be a kind and supportive friend to yourself. Ask:
How would my friend or parent support me in this situation?
Act and speak to yourself as they would. Learn from your mistakes and move forward with newfound knowledge.
8. Take a break to laugh.
Spend 5-10 minutes watching a funny clip, reading a comic, or listening to something that makes you laugh. Laughter can recharge your energy, boost optimism, and release tension.
9. Remember, you can shape your future.
Avoid dwelling on past mistakes or regrets. Focus on what you want in your future, whether it’s better health, fulfilling relationships, or career growth. Take small steps towards your goals each day.
10. Reinforce the importance of being kind to yourself.
Remind yourself of the benefits of self-kindness, such as improved results, perseverance, self-esteem, happiness, inner peace, and better relationships. By understanding these benefits, it becomes easier to prioritize self-care through life’s challenges.