The Two Main Reasons People Fail At Mindfulness And Meditation

Since 2003, when I first started teaching meditation, I have been grappling with the challenge of articulating and teaching something that is fundamentally an existential experience of being. It is akin to trying to describe the color blue to someone blind since birth or explain the taste of an apple to someone who has never tasted one. The main issue lies in people’s inclination towards comprehending meditation intellectually rather than experiencing it firsthand.

Renowned meditation master and Buddhist teacher Chogyam Trungpa had a unique approach for his new students. He would instruct them to sit in meditation for 20 minutes before delving into any explanations. This way, he could impart teachings through their own experiential learning. Drawing a parallel, teaching meditation through words alone is as ineffective as coaching tennis by just talking about the game without any practical demonstration.

Meditation is a practice, not a theory. It has been handed down as a method to alleviate mental and emotional distress and discover inner freedom in a world characterized by constant change and uncertainty. Over the course of five thousand years, various religious interpretations and scholarly traditions have evolved around meditation, giving rise to a class of priests and rigid structures.

“The best meditators are the ones who meditate.”

Zen Buddhism is often viewed as anti-intellectual because it seeks to transcend the rational mind and reach a realm where words become irrelevant. Ironically, this philosophy attracted highly intellectual individuals who recognized the limitations of the human mind and language in grasping the true essence of reality. Visionaries like Alan Watts and Jiddu Krishnamurti cautioned against the pitfalls of relying solely on knowledge to understand the world. Watts even coined the term “the wisdom of not knowing,” pointing towards a transcendent form of knowledge free from conceptual constraints. A Zen master’s timeless advice underscores this sentiment:

“To find the truth simply give up all your opinions.”

Our formal mindfulness meditation sessions provide a space to set aside thoughts and concepts temporarily, allowing for a different mode of existence beyond the confines of the rational mind.

Buddha recognized the power of thoughts and beliefs in shaping individuals’ realities. He advocated for an ethical and compassionate outlook, emphasizing the role of thoughts in creating one’s perceived reality. However, shifting one’s perspective can profoundly alter their worldly experience, hinting at the potential of understanding ultimate reality.

: Release the urge to analyze or evaluate your meditation practice. When I sought guidance on a technical aspect of meditation from a revered master, Karma Lhundrup Rinpoche’s response was unexpectedly melodic. He likened it to the Beatles’ song “Let It Be,” emphasizing the importance of allowing things to unfold naturally rather than overthinking or striving for a specific outcome.

A common pitfall in mindfulness and meditation practices is the tendency to exert excessive effort, driven by willpower or ego. This inclination is often reinforced by instructors labeling individuals as ‘failing’ in their meditation endeavors, fostering a sense of perpetual inadequacy. Beginners are urged to persist, with the promise that meditation will eventually become more rewarding over time. However, even seasoned practitioners, after two decades of meditation, may struggle with unrealistic expectations of continuous tranquility and bliss.

Mindfulness, a structured technique that I also teach, initially demands effort and discipline. It involves a transition from the laborious process of readjusting to a state of effortless repose. At the outset, there is a period of frequent adjustments before settling into a state of calm observation, where minimal readjustments are required.

Mindfulness serves as the training wheels on a bicycle, aiding in finding balance initially but eventually becoming superfluous. The meditation journey unfolds as a progression from exertion towards effortlessness. While the initial phase necessitates effort to attain a state of ease, some individuals effortlessly access a natural state of being from the start. For such individuals, this discourse may not apply, and they are encouraged to continue their seamless practice.

The two training wheels symbolize the adjustment phase required to rectify imbalance, which may stem from either excessive excitement or dullness. When overwhelmed by racing thoughts, one must relax and refocus on their breath or mantra. Conversely, combating lethargy demands posture correction and renewed focus. The key lies in avoiding excessive adjustments after regaining balance, transitioning to a state of serene breath-watching and effortless presence.

Gradually, meditation evolves into a state of non-interference, where distractions are acknowledged without significant effort to realign. As my former Tai Chi instructor would say:

“Never wobble but when you wobble, wobble well.”

Striving for perfection contradicts the essence of effortlessness emphasized in meditation. At its core, meditation transcends the notions of right or wrong, urging practitioners to rest in the present moment without a sense of striving or achievement.

To embody effortlessness, one must relinquish conventional problem-solving approaches and goal-oriented mindsets, embracing the perfection of each moment, even amidst imperfections. This journey necessitates a goal-free, non-demanding attitude, inviting individuals to simply be present, akin to a Buddha in tranquil repose.

Eventually, as the training wheels are discarded, meditation unfolds as a natural, harmonious practice, characterized by acceptance, non-interference, and a sense of fulfillment. These qualities align with the innate awareness of individuals, effortlessly mirroring the unfolding reality without any external adjustments.

: Embrace the act of sitting and allowing things to unfold naturally.

Chad Foreman, the founder of The Way of Meditation, has been dedicated to imparting authentic meditation practices since 2003. His mission is to integrate meditation into the modern world, reaching millions with transformative techniques. A former Buddhist monk, Chad spent six years immersed in meditation practice, accumulating over two decades of teaching experience. He conducts regular

Meditation Retreats

on the Sunshine Coast in Australia, offers

Online Meditation Coaching

, and hosts three online programs –  

 to guide individuals from basic mindfulness to profound awareness levels. Additionally, he provides

for stress management and deeper meditation, along with

– a tantric Buddhist method for energy purification and accessing blissful states. Chad also offers a complimentary e-book titled

.