May has arrived at last.
With the warmth, sunshine, flowers blooming, and allergies starting.
To help you have a happy end to spring, I want to share 87 of the most witty, positive, and funny May quotes.
I hope you find something here that you can use for your letter board or Instagram, bringing laughter to you and your loved ones and making your month fun and joyful before heading into summer.
Funny May Quotes and Sayings for a Happy End to Spring
“It’s May, the lusty month of May, that darling month when everyone throws self-control away.”
– Alan Jay Lerner
“Lots of people go mad in January. Not as many as in May, of course, nor June.”
– Karen Joy Fowler
“May can be a month of sneezing, itchy eyes, and runny noses.”
– Ellen Jackson
“May is a pious fraud of the almanac, a ghastly parody of real spring.”
– James Russell Lowell
“Horticulturally, the month of May is opening night, homecoming, and graduation day all rolled into one.”
– Tam Mossman
“The last days of May are among the longest of the year.”
– Alice Munro
“Make hay in May, for you may never know what June is coming with, and you may never know what July will present! When you see May, make hay!”
– Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
“May, more than any other month of the year, wants us to feel most alive.”
– Fennel Hudson
“The flowers that should bloom in the month of May, every one of them came on an April day! And they looked for April showers in vain, but all through May it did nothing but rain!”
– Carolyn Wells
“Oh, it was a merry, gladsome day when the April Fool met the Queen of May. She had roguish eyes and golden hair, and they were a mischief-making pair.”
– Carolyn Wells
“Queer things happen in the garden in May. Little faces forgotten appear, and plants thought to be dead suddenly wave a green hand to confound you.”
– W. E. Johns
“May is often the month where your winter body meets your summer wardrobe again, and it’s usually an awkward reunion.”
– Sandra Shea
“In the suburbs of Delaware, spring meant not young love and damp flowers but an ugly divorce from winter and a second marriage to buxom summer.”
– Andrew Sean Greer
“The world’s favorite season is the spring. All things seem possible in May.”
– Edwin Way Teale
“I thought that spring must last forevermore. For I was young and loved, and it was May.”
– Vera Brittain
“Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.”
– Al Bernstein
Short and Funny May Quotes
“May is proof that nature has a sense of humor – you get perfect weather on workdays and then rain every single weekend.”
– Bob Simmons
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
– Robin Williams
“May: the lilacs are in bloom. Forget yourself.”
– Marty Rubin
“Spring is when you feel like whistling, even with a shoe full of slush.”
– Doug Larson
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
– Steve Martin
“May is that magical time of year when you can get a sunburn and a cold on the same day.”
– Unknown
“Despite the forecast, live like it’s spring.”
– Lilly Pulitzer
“A little Madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King.”
– Emily Dickinson
“My favorite weather is bird chirping weather.”
– Terri Guillemets
“An optimist is the human personification of spring.”
– Susan J. Bissonette
“Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise.”
– Wallace Stevens
“You gotta bloom where you’re planted.”
– Dolly Parton
“May is green and pink and red.”
– Richard L. Ratliff
“Spring is the time of the year, when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.”
– Charles Dickens
“Every spring is the only spring, a perpetual astonishment.”
– Ellis Peters
“The month of May is the gateway to summer, vacation, and checking out from work.”
– Unknown
Hilarious May Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
“Nothing says May like mowing the lawn and getting all sweaty as a sweet reminder of how out of shape you’ve gotten.”
– Sandra Shea
“Gardening requires lots of water – most of it in the form of perspiration.”
– Louise Erickson
“May is when you realize that your New Year’s resolution to ‘get in shape’ isn’t really working out the way you planned.”
– Sarah Kelly
“It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want – oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”
– Mark Twain
“The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.”
– Henry Van Dyke
“In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.”
– Mark Twain
“The early bird gets the worm, but the late bird doesn’t even get the late worm.”
– Charles M. Schulz
“Isn’t it amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?”
– Zig Ziglar
“People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do: I stare out the window and wait for spring.”
– Rogers Hornsby
“Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.”
– W. Earl Hall
“Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything’s dying.”
– George Carlin
“Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.”
– Ambrose Bierce
“In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.”
– Emma Racine deFleur
Funny May Quotes for Your Letter Board and Instagram
“The only thing blossoming faster than the flowers in May are my allergies.”
– Jim Harper
“Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again.”
– Gustav Mahler
“Hello, May! Surprise me.”
– Unknown
“Spring is the only revolutionary whose revolution has succeeded.”
– Marianne van Hirtum
“You can have all the rest of the year if you will give me April and May.”
– Spanish Proverb
“May, the month of maybes.”
– Unknown
“Early spring is the time for vigorous change, a preparation for the heat-driven oppression that is to come.”
– Unknown
“The most wasted of days is one without laughter.”
– E. E. Cummings
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”
– Michael Altshuler
“Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.”
– Virgil A. Kraft
“I enjoy the spring more than the autumn now. One does, I think, as one gets older.”
– Virginia Woolf
“You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot keep spring from coming.”
– Pablo Neruda
“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.”
– Anne Bradstreet
“The deep roots never doubt spring will come.”
– Marty Rubin
Short and Funny Mother’s Day Quotes
“I can’t believe how much like my mother I turned out. I feel sorry for my kids.”
– Melanie White
“Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.”
– Julie Bowen
“Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”
– Ray Romano
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.”
– Unknown
“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.”
– Ed Asner
“I’ve been married 14 years and I have three kids. Obviously I breed well in captivity.”
– Roseanne Barr
“Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.”
– Unknown
“Children are a great comfort in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too.”
– Lionel Kauffman
“Behind every great child is a mom who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it all up.”
– Unknown
“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”
– Tim Allen
“Raising kids is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”
– Unknown
“I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.”
– Unknown
“The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.”
– Jane Sellman
Funny Mothers Days Quotes That Will Make Your Mom Smile
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”
– Nora Ephron
“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
– Tenneva Jordan
“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘Keep away from children.’”
– Susan Savannah
“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”
– Mark Twain
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
– Milton Berle
“Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.”
– William Feather
“Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life.”
– Mindy Kaling
“I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.”
– Rita Rudner
“Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.”
– Tina Fey
“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
– Calvin Trillin
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”
– Erma Bombeck
“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
– Dorothy Parker
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
– Phyllis Diller
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”
– Betty White
“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”
– Buddy Hackett
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
– Sam Levenson
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
– Lane Olinghouse
Want more laughs and positive energy for the season? Then have a look at these funny spring quotes, the funny graduation quotes here, and also this one with inspirational quotes about hope.