“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”’
Helen Keller
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
Mahatma Gandhi
Living a life where you’re happier and kinder towards yourself is not just about what you can do.
But also about what you are already doing. And especially those habits that do have a negative and unhappy impact on your life.
So this week I’d like to share 9 such habits. And what have helped me a whole lot to do instead.
1. Cease overthinking.
Overthinking can magnify any issue and hinder your ability to take action.
What to focus on instead:
Set time limits for decisions.
For instance: For minor decisions like whether to do the laundry, start a new article, or work out, I typically give myself 30 seconds or less to decide.
For more significant decisions that used to take days or weeks to contemplate, I set a deadline of 30 minutes or by the end of the workday.
Keep a visible reminder.
A note saying “Keep things extremely simple” on my whiteboard, seen multiple times a day, significantly helped me reduce overthinking over time.
2. Avoid surrounding yourself with negativity.
Our happiness is greatly influenced by the people and sources around us.
If you immerse yourself in negativity from people and information that drag you down into fear and frustration, it will impact your life negatively.
What to focus on instead:
Identify the biggest time-wasters and energy-drains among the influences in your life.
- Who are the 1-2 people that bring you down the most?
- Which 1-2 sources like blogs, forums, books, magazines, social media, or TV shows have the most negative impact?
Write down your answers. Then consider the 1-2 people and sources that uplift you the most.
Decide to reduce time spent with the negative sources and allocate that time to the positive influences you listed.
3. Refrain from dwelling on the past or future.
Spending excessive time in the past leads to revisiting old mistakes and wishing for change. Conversely, focusing too much on the future breeds worry and anxiety.
What to focus on instead:
Embrace the present moment more. You’ll feel lighter, more alert, and better able to appreciate everyday wonders.
Reconnect with the present by being still and either:
- Focus on your breath. Spend a few minutes concentrating on your breathing.
- Engage your senses in the moment. Listen, observe, smell, and feel your surroundings to fully experience the present.
4. Lower your happiness expectations.
Avoid setting a high bar for happiness, which can lead to only feeling happy during major achievements or extraordinary events.
What to focus on instead:
Remind yourself in the morning:
Today, I will find happiness in simple things.
Consider writing this down as a daily reminder to appreciate the little joys in life.
This practice helps prevent taking things for granted and fosters gratitude for daily experiences.
It has lightened my daily life and made the journey towards my goals more joyful.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others can be damaging and lead to feelings of inadequacy and negativity.
What to focus on instead:
Compare your progress to your past self:
- Reflect on your growth.
- Acknowledge how far you’ve come.
- Celebrate your achievements and steps towards your goals.
By adopting this mindset, you’ll view yourself more positively and feel energized to continue your journey.
6. Avoid rushing through tasks.
Constantly rushing through activities can increase stress and hinder clarity of thought.
What to focus on instead:
Slow down your pace. Moving, speaking, and working at a slower pace:
- Reduces stress.
- Enhances mindfulness.
- Allows you to savor life’s experiences more fully.
7. Acknowledge your true feelings.
It’s important to address negative emotions instead of suppressing them with forced positivity.
What to focus on instead:
Express your feelings.
Don’t ignore negative thoughts. Take time to process your emotions through writing or talking with a trusted individual.
Create a plan.
After understanding and accepting your feelings, outline a small actionable plan to move towards a better emotional state.
Initiate this plan by taking the first practical step forward.
8. Allocate energy to your priorities.
Avoid spending time on activities that don’t align with your true values and goals.
What to focus on instead:
Identify your top priorities and concentrate on them.
Determine the 4 most important aspects of your life this year:
It could be family, a hobby, health, or a significant project.
Write down these priorities and keep them visible to stay focused daily.
9. Take control of your happiness.
Avoid waiting for external sources to bring happiness into your life.
What to focus on instead:
Be proactive in creating the life you desire:
- Schedule positive social interactions.
- Start your day with a mindset of simple happiness.
- Reflect on and prioritize your goals regularly.
If you encounter difficulty, remember to take small steps towards your goals to overcome procrastination.