“When you get into a challenging situation and everything seems to be against you, till it feels like you can’t hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the time and place that the tide will turn.”
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Some days are bright and full of inspiration. Some days are simply routine.
And on some days you may think to yourself: “I want to quit”.
You may feel like giving up on…
- Your new routine of working out or eating healthier.
- Your own small business or blog because you haven’t seen the results you expected or desired.
- Truly feeling better about yourself.
- Dating because you can’t seem to find the right person or have a good date at all.
Ending up in such situations is a normal part of making positive changes in life.
But how you handle the urge to give up will determine a lot about where your life will go.
In today’s article I’d like to share 10 things that have helped me to persevere or to change course on those challenging days.
1. Embrace realistic expectations.
This has been crucial for me.
Embrace realistic expectations not by believing in quick fixes from advertisements. Not by succumbing to perfectionism – from yourself or those around you – that allows no room for mistakes or setbacks.
Embrace it by listening to those who have already achieved what you aspire to.
Listen to those who understand what works, how you may stumble and fail along the way, and can provide insight into how long your journey might take.
You may not receive a precise roadmap. However, the advice from experienced individuals in person or through literature and online sources can be invaluable guidance.
2. Recall why you started this journey.
It’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture amidst the busyness of daily life.
But when you feel like giving up, reconnect with the reasons behind your actions.
Perhaps it is to:
- Support and protect your family.
- Live a healthier and longer life to witness your children grow up.
- Explore the world and discover new experiences.
Jot down your motivations.
Then, whenever you contemplate giving up, refer back to that list of your most compelling reasons. It can often reignite your determination.
3. Remember: It’s always darkest before the dawn.
This notion has been a guiding light for me during tough times when I felt like throwing in the towel. And I have found it to be true.
When things appeared bleakest with my endeavors – be it my blog, business, dating life, or overall motivation – something always shifted.
Perhaps it was because hitting that low point compelled me to make changes in my approach.
But it could also be attributed to life’s inherent balance that unfolds when I persist. By continuing to take action instead of giving up and stagnating, something positive invariably occurs.
Witnessing this pattern reinforced my belief in perseverance and taking steps forward even during challenging periods.
It offers solace even in the face of adversity.
4. Revisit the fundamentals.
During plateaus or prolonged rough patches, simplifying and revisiting the basics has often proven beneficial for me.
The abundance of information available on any life change can be overwhelming.
This can lead to confusion and attempting to juggle multiple strategies simultaneously.
In such scenarios, I have found solace in simplification.
Focusing on a few core principles or one key lesson that serves as the foundation in that area of life. To enhance my social skills, for instance, this involved maintaining a positive outlook and fostering rapport.
5. Learn and adjust course.
While reverting to basics is effective, there are instances during rough patches where tweaking my approach slightly has yielded positive results.
Assessing my methods, their outcomes, and comparing them to successful precedents has been enlightening.
Being honest with myself about what isn’t working well and substituting those aspects temporarily – based on past experiences of others – to see if there’s improvement.
Even if it entails stepping out of my comfort zone.
6. Tell yourself: Just for today!
Here’s a mantra I adopted from Brian Tracy that I frequently employ when faced with a challenging day regarding a new habit.
I remind myself: Just for today I will XX!
Substitute XX with the action you commit to for that day, such as exercising, tackling the most crucial task first, or having a nutritious meal.
By framing it as a task for the current day, I experience two significant benefits:
- I shed the mental weight of past and future instances of completing the task. Consequently, the burden lessens, and inner resistance diminishes.
- It serves as a reminder that the habit-forming phase is temporary. After approximately 30 days, the behavior becomes automatic, alleviating the need for sustained willpower over the years.
Interestingly, the next day usually brings renewed enthusiasm and reduced resistance, making the task more manageable.
7. Seek support from your circle.
When obstacles appear insurmountable or energy levels dwindle, confiding in someone can be immensely beneficial.
Communicating with my partner, a friend, or family member allows me to vent, self-reflect as they listen, and receive grounded advice when needed.
This interaction reinvigorates my motivation and energy.
If finding someone to confide in proves challenging, or if those around you struggle to comprehend your predicament, consider seeking support from online groups or forums.
8. Reflect on your progress and celebrate achievements.
During moments of doubt and fatigue, it’s easy to lose sight of the strides you’ve made.
Take a moment to acknowledge what you’ve learned, the steps taken, and the obstacles overcome thus far.
Reflecting on these accomplishments when the urge to quit arises can foster a renewed sense of optimism and inspire further progress.
9. Grant yourself grace and take a breather.
Feeling the inclination to give up may sometimes signal the need for a well-deserved break after exerting excessive effort or adhering to an overly ambitious timeline.
Listen to your mind and body when this occurs.
Set aside a few hours or days to rest, recuperate, and set aside the task, project, or goal you’re contemplating abandoning.
This simple act can significantly shift your perspective, recharge your energy, and rejuvenate your spirit.
10. Assess if it’s time to pivot and explore new avenues.
Occasionally, it’s not about giving up but recognizing when a change in direction is warranted.
If thoughts of quitting persist, or if boredom and lack of passion plague your pursuits, consider these two questions:
- Am I pursuing this out of genuine desire?
- Or am I following this path due to external pressure or societal expectations?
Discovering your true aspirations isn’t always immediate. It may entail exploring various paths before finding one that resonates with you.
Simply because others adore running doesn’t mandate your affection for it or necessitate abandoning the habit of regular exercise.
Experiment with alternative approaches to your goals to determine what aligns best with your preferences and brings you fulfillment.